Listen,    we    really    don't    care
about    your    health...

Which is why we create a harmful product that not only makes you happy, but also provides marginal advantages. Just have a look at the fine assortment of benefits you get just by smoking cigarettes:

The    Benefits...

  • - May make you smarter
  • - May make you an olympic athlete
  • - May make you deliciously thin
  • - May give you a cleaner mouth
  • - May make you less likely to suffer from complications after all your forthcoming surgeries
  • - May cure your hypertension
  • - May help clean your disgusting blood
  • - May marginally protect you from some diseases, even from those you've never heard of

 

  • - Graces you with our uniquely intoxicating aroma
  • - Inspires foul looks of jealousy behind your back
  • - Will gain you loads of fellow smoking friends
  • - Will ocassionally relieve people from your unwanted presence
  • - May make you SUPER rich, if not already
  • - Gets you all the respect you deserve
  • - Makes you an "artist"

 

Best    of    all,    smoking    prevents
death    from    old    age!